The exam

The pins - the red one was for the first exam the the blue for the second.

Last week was the dreaded exam. It actually started the week before with the first part in Brisbane for two days, then the lucky people who did well were invited to go to Melbourne to do the second part.

I've been studying pretty hard. At least two hours a night every night for the last 3 months, or more when I miss a night. I have purchased new textbooks, I have purchased (and consumed) all sorts of wine in order to prepare for the exam.

What was this dreaded exam? The first part was an Introductory Level Sommelier exam run by the Court of Master Sommeliers. It was not as hard as the version I did several years ago, but maybe thats just experience. The second part was the actual exam to become a certified sommelier (ie the right to call yourself a fancy title).

I was pretty nervous and the night before I was due to go to Brisbane I came down with some funky flu that left me sweating and delirous and popping all the cold and flu tablets I could get.

By the time I got to the course I was bit of a wreck and thought I wasn't going to get through. The next two days were spent being lectured to a marathon pace. Italy was covered by a snappy New Yorker who spoke faster than the ears could comprehend, and the way the place names rolled off his tongue was magical. It did not help one bit with the exam but it was a wonder to behold that someone could be that comfortable with the wines of Italy that they did not have to stop for breath.

The rest of the proceedings went much the same way. I was pretty happy that most of the stuff being covered was very familiar from my study, so I sat back and just listened (pity the poor person who came expecting to actually learn and absorb something).

The worst part was the wines. We all had to stand up with a microphone and talk about an aspect of each of the 22 wines that were tasted over the two days. When it came to my turn I had to speak about the appearance and nose of a specific white wine. I had no nose to use, I had no legs to stand on (I was dizzy as anything from all that sniffing and tasting and spitting on top of all the cold and flu tablets). So I piked out and handed the mic on and stumbled out to the bathrooms.

The next day I did much better, I stood up and did the final sum up on a left bank Bordeaux from 2006. I dont think I have actually ever tasted a left bank Bordeaux from 2006, but it turns out my guesses are pretty good.

We watched a half hour demonstration of the proper steps of service and had a quick discussion about the kinds of things that we would be expected to learn for the next exam. I freaked out and decided there and then that if I was allowed to progress to the next stage I would turn it down.

Later that afternoon we had the first exam, 70 multiple choice questions in 45 minutes. I turned over the page, I took it slow, I made sure I was happy with each answer before I moved on and I did not go back to check or change my mind (as this is the falling down of girls who take multiple choice exams). I finished it in 7 minutes and was the only person to leave the room. I panicked - had I gone too fast, was I too careless?

When they read out the people who had passed I was holding my breath. They got to the last three certificates and said "these people have done the best in the class", they gave one to each of my two wine reps from work. I was crushed, I thought - OMG, I should have gone back and checked my answers. The last certificate was in their hand and they said, " this person has topped the class with the highest mark". They called my name. I just about died from relief.

I was surrounded by people shaking my hand and all I could think of was "bugger, no way am I going to get out of going to Melbourne now". With a huge smile on my face but terror in my heart I caught the lift down to the lobby, shutting the lift doors on a poor guy who was running for it, I called my mum. As you do. And had a meltdown.

I found Michael, we headed for Borders, I purchased every book I could find on cocktails, vintages and spirits. I sincerely believed I would find time in the next 2 days to read 7 books, all on topics I hadn't bothered to study in the lead up to the first exam. In short, after a quickie dinner at a sushi train, we went back to our hotel room and I studied some more. We drove home at midnight because the Friday night partiers were distracting me.

The next day I went into work and promptly told Grace that if she did not send me home I would have no option but to sit at my desk and cry. I worked for 8 hours over the whole weekend, doing the bare minimum to get them through the next week when I would be away.

I spent the rest of my time sitting at my desk and making flashcards and reading cocktail books and silently freaking out. I changed my mind 8 or 9 times every hour as to whether I should get a doctor's note to allow me to back out of the exam or not (I was still pretty sick, so felt justified). The worst part was on Sunday night, before I had to fly to Melbourne, when I actually just sat in my room and cried because I just did not know what to do. I have never in my whole life been so stressed out. The cap off was when I read some guy's blog about when he failed the test in California. He sounded like he knew what he was doing and he still failed.

Monday was a blur of planes and buses and the security of my hotel room. I watched Sex in the City 2 because I was too distracted to study. I lost my voice. I went out and bought sushi and KFC chips and a cupcake. I did not know myself like this.

Tuesday morning, awake at 5. Got dressed, walked to the Crown for the first and second part of the 3 part exam. Got there an hour early and watched all the other jittery people arrive. There were 4 girls in this round (6 in the last round) and 26 guys.

We started with a blind tasting (it was worst than blind because I couldn't smell - what do you call that when you lose your smell?). Then a 40 question exam, both the tasting and exam within 45 minutes. I stayed until the end. I checked and rechecked my answers.

Then the wait for the last part, I had an hour and a half to kill before my turn for the service part. I practiced my recommendations with one of the other girls. We took turns asking about the ingredients in all the cocktails we had to learn. She rememebered a Negroni and I remembered a Tom Collins as our recommendations for an appretif.

They called us in.

My examiner was the man who wrote the textbook. I felt safe with him because I had had lunch with him at the Brisbane exam.

My first task was to open a bottle of champagne. And guess what - the cork would not come out. Not for anyone or anything. The examiner finally came over to help me and he had to use some crazy muscles to get the cork out (I felt abit better).

I carried 8 filled champagne glasses around a table without dropping them (apparently lots of people lose marks on this as they drop them). He asked me what was in a Negroni and I silently thanked my lobby friend for learning that cocktail. About 2 minutes later I walked out of the room. I had no idea how I had done but as soon as it was over I felt relief. Thats all.

I had a six hour wait until the results. I treated myself to lunch and a make over at the DJ's make up counters. I purchased a book (it was not on wine). I walked round and round the city in my suit and just felt relief.

When it was time to get the results we were kept waiting again, and again they did the slow torturous read out of names. They called my name about half way through the list. All I could think of was "thank you thank you and thank you" and relief - that it was over and I'd have my life back and that I can finally justify all the years and cost of study.

That night I went to celebrate with some old friends in Melbourne. My first drink was a lemonade - and it tasted fabulous.