Bye Bye QLD

We have moved to frosty Tasmania and therefore have a new blog. If you want to read it go to http://wildtarra.blogspot.com . See you there.

Being married - one month in

So what's it like to be married?

On the day, its the biggest party that you ever go to where you spend the most time apart from your intended.

In the week afterwards, the pair of you are the biggest gossip/news amongst friends and work colleagues who trade photos of you like collectable cards.

During the honeymoon you feel almost like you're letting down the side if you don't look sufficiently romantically lovey dovey to each other at all of the lovely hotels who've upgraded you, and ungrateful if you don't drink all of the free champagne that appears on check in. (how to put on 5 kg on a honeymoon - tell everyone its your honeymoon).

When you get home from the honeymoon you feel like the biggest life decision you have to make together at that point is where in the house to put all the wedding presents from the gift registry.

Then, when it gets to a month, you get the wedding photos back from the photographer, and finally get a chance to try and see what everyone else got to see on the day, you are too tired to stay up and drink that celebratory bottle of Moet with the husband when he gets home from work. No pipe, no slippers, no 'honey I'm home' cocktail.

So far being married has been quite similar to not being married, except that we don't have to worry about an impending wedding.

Its full of shocks and surprises, but not from your new husband. Random people, like the lady in the Hertz office in NZ, find it amusing to say to you while picking up the rental car "your husband booked that dear" and see the look of confusion on your face as you try to remember that you are married. What is more awkward is when colleagues follow you around calling your new name (Mrs Ross) and you fail to respond because you think they are talking to someone else. The lady at the cattery who was trying to work out why our cats have different surnames to each other. Should we change them? Register their new family name with cat deed poll? How far do you go?

The best bit is all of the free time I have now, no more planning, no more trawling the internet for ideas. And the bestest bit ever - my addiction to trashy wedding shows on TV has gone. Completely disappeared! Thank god.

How to write your wedding ceremony

So, we've come to that point where we have to write the wedding ceremony - or at least pick the parts of the book provided by our celebrant that we want him to read and join together to make into what will turn out to be the wedding service.

Its abit tricky to sit down and talk about all of this stuff together because we are not romantic people at all and some of the readings and introductions that we have been given to choose from are quite frankly, embarrassing. The other issue is that I feel that I have heard them all before at all of the weddings we do at work.

So we have come up with a short list of what not to say at our wedding:
1. We will not say anything about being best friends, because Michael is not my best friend. My best friends are prepared to go shopping for long periods of time and talk about girly things with me. And they drink with me after work and he does not, even  though this picture appears to be the contrary.
2. We will not mention spirits because it would feel like ghosts have come along for the day.
3. We will not have anything American Indian because we are not American Indian nor have ever met such.
4. There is no God in our service because anyone that knows me would realise that I would not be telling the truth if we invited God along for the day. However Darwin is welcome...
5. We will not eat or drink anything at our ceremony, despite the urging of our celebrant to do such things as symbolism of our 'likes' - mine for wine and Michael for food. We are not drunkards or gluttons and do not feel the need to eat or drink in the middle of something like a wedding just because those things are our jobs.
6. There will be no handfasting (Michael is dead against it), nor sand blending (what do you do with it later?)
7. We have forbidden Michael's mum to read the amusing marriage poem that compared the bride with a commodity that was going to be sold to the husband.
8. We will not have any brooms, bed sheets or rose givings, nor warming of rings or releasing of butterflies.
9. I have reluctantly agreed to being pronounced Mr and Mrs Ross. But it will only be for the afternoon.

On the other hand, we had to answer a bunch of questions so that the celebrant could write a personalised introduction to the ceremony. We tried to tackle these a few weeks ago but it just went pear shaped.  Last night we sat down with real intentions to get the thing done and here is the answer to one of the questions.

When asked, When did you know that you would be together forever? Michael answered - after 6 weeks (about 3 days after our first kiss). He also gave the same answer to When did realise that you were in love? I was stunned, knocked for a six, I asked him again to clarify, to make sure he understood the question, after all - this bit is going to be said in front of all of our family and friends. But he was dead serious. It just took him 6.5 years to get his act together to make it official.

Funnily enough, my answer to that question was - the day I met him...Awwww. Feel lucky if you are not coming to our wedding.  Might have to throw up in your hanky.

The Proposal

So, are you ready for this?  Are you ready for the story of true love and love conquers all and the "I want to spend the rest of my life with you story".
Here's how it happened...

I took Michael away on a fabulous mini break (as Bridget Jones would say).  We went to Crystal Creek Rainforest Retreat, just over the border near Murwillumbah. It was a commitment to drive interstate but the retreat had been recommended by my boss and his wife who had both raved about the place. My favourite part of the journey was driving across the border, which was a cattle grid with two traffic cameras aimed in each direction (on a dirt back road), which were obviously there to catch bad cows escaping from QLD.

When we arrived at the retreat we found ourselves ensconced, deep in the rainforest (leech territory).  I had a deadline to meet - at 4pm I was supposed to take Michael on a diversionary walk somewhere whilst the staff made over our room for the '100 candle surprise'. I had pre-warned Michael before we left to take 'the little box in your bottom drawer'.  It was supposed to be his perfect opportunity to whip it out. We diversionary walk took us to the creek, to the wedding site, to the hammocks that are set out over the creek, we also checked out all the DVDs and I read almost every comment in the guest book in a space of 45 minutes.  What's a girl to do, I had to dawdle deliberately to spin it out.

Eventually I got the nod from the lady in reception that my surprise was all in place and we made our way back to our cabin.  The rose petals on the entranceway gave it away, and he was very surprised and delighted, but still no ring.

I should take the opportunity to explain here that I am not a groom sucking fiend, we have an engagement party booked next weekend with 25 of our nearest & dearest and it was important that things be official by that time - hence my magnificent surprise.

So we had a lovely evening, even though the little box did not make its way out.

The next day dawned so blue and bright through the glass of the curtainless cabin. The mountain perched above the rainforest canopy appeared to be placed there for our enjoyment and adoration. We enjoyed a lovely 45 minute trek up a 90 degree muddy hillside and the even better trek down again with an itchy leech in my left shoe. We picnic-ed in the orchard, which was perched hillside a little way from our cabin, unspoilt views of aforementioned looming mountain, with turkey sangas and a box of Roses chocolates and ye old two bottles of pear cider - we were a picture of advertising genius for the romantic moment.

After a long frustrating discussion about wedding speeches, we headed back to the room to lounge around some more in the deck chairs.  It was about 3pm and that mountain was screaming out at me "ask him when he is planning on getting around to it, there's not many hours left of this mini break holiday". I was just about to open my mouth when he went to fetch another glass of wine and said "here you go, its about time you had this, dont you think?" and gave me the little box from the bottom drawer.

"Ask me" I said
"Okay, will you marry me?"

I made him say it again.
Then I forgot to say yes.

It was a smashing moment. So unromantic, so like Michael that I cant believe that I ever pictured anything else. However the romance shone through when he begged me to hold off the phone calls to friends and family to announce our happy moment.  He wanted to contain it to us, just us, for an afternoon. We compromised on a text message and talked about returning to the retreat for the first 3 days of our honeymoon, leeches and all.

We tried to make up a romantic story about this, but we couldn't think of anything believable. Its really just a leechy story with some bling bits.

So we are getting married

So I heard about this new blog interface from my mum and Simon and thought I better get on and try it out, so that I can support your feedback on posting. What to write about? There is not much new in town (same town), same house, same job. Thought I better write about getting married. Because that's what we're getting. Next year we might get a dog or save up for a great European holiday but this year we're having a wedding.

We're booked in at our sister property, which for us was the only choice.  Not because its our sister property, but because it is the best place we've ever stayed. The only place where I can work once a week and still fall in love with every time I drive up to.
We're not actually engaged (hold your congrats) but it will likely be pretty soon, given that the engagement party is booked, ring purchased, wedding paid for (lots of bits) and dress selected. After all this, the proposal seems like a formality, like choosing my shoes. Which is not to say it means that little, it means a lot, but we like to play it cool around here, maybe I am just too difficult to surprise? I have had to put a ban on toilet proposals - just so you get an idea on how hard this is for poor Michael.
The favourite part of organising so far is:
1/ Thinking I am all sorted and getting bored and impatient because it took approximately 2 seconds to get everything booked and 15 minutes to choose a dress (literally)
2/ Then realising that there are now stupid decisions to make like how to wear my hair (I thought I just had to book someone and they would 'make it happen')
3/ What to give all of the guests for their 'thank you for coming present'. Hmmm, what do you give a bunch of people to have forever that you wouldn't just chuck out yourself in 2 years (I am under no illusions, our wedding is not the most important thing on earth, therefore why does anyone need a souvenir?)
4/ Scheduling the wedding around a big client so that I can actually enjoy the day
5/ Cake - real or fake (polystyrene) or comical variation on cake
6/ Thailand or New Zealand honeymoon (vote here)
Your thought, here, now, let me know your 2 cents, why not?

The new dress

You know how there are times when you go looking for clothes and nothings is the right size or the size is great but the colour looks terrible on you?

I always suffer this problem.  At the moment everything fits great (freak of nature) but it is all in pastel colours which make me look ghostly and fat.

For years I have wanted to have a go at making my own clothes so that I can get the style, length (also a big problem - my parents must have forgotten to order the 'Regular' length instead of the 'Short' length legs for me in the baby shop)l and colour that I want.  But something has always stopped me.

For years our family has been haunted by a terrible trait.  None of the girls in our family, not nanas, mothers, sisters - no one can sew. Our few attempts are characterised by awkwardness and consist mostly of curtains, hemming pants and once - 2 pairs of shorts. The shorts were the scariest thing because they were fluorescent (not my chosen colour or pattern) and in the first attempt had the leg holes in the crotch sewn together so that no living person could get into them. I was forced to walk around in these garish pants for a couple of years when I was a kid.  Grandma was responsible for these and although I will always remember her fondly, it has traumatised me for some years.

The other impediment is that I didnt have a sewing machine.  My mother had one, which I borrowed with best intentions 2 years ago.  She had owned it - forever - I dont know how long and I dont want to be rude by putting a figure on it. Maybe before decimal currency? However the poor machine was drowned in the floods.  We opened it up in its case and water poured out and the hide tide mark of mud was well over its workings.

Two weeks ago we went on holidays and I bought pants to take away with me.  I ended up (by accrual) with 5 pairs of pants to take up and decided - enough is enough.  It will cost me almost that much to get a shop to take up all those pants.  Spotlight were having a sale on sewing machines for $99 so I bought one.

What a revelation. I can actually sew.  I often spend 6 years trying to get the bobbin bit to come out so that I can start sewing,  but it eventually behaves and I am off!

The first thing I made was happy pants. They were for my brother (who is now 23) and he happened to mention at a recent family dinner how much he used to like happy pants when he was a kid. You know - the pants with elastic in the top and bottom and look like MC Hammer. They are bright blue Hawaiian print with pink flamingos.  Though they are a little big, I'm told he wears them quite alot, however it took him some time to get over the shock that happy pants are not really as flattering as he remembers.

What next - feeling confident, I went back to Spotlight and purchased a pattern and some more fabric. That afternoon I sat down and spent 4 hours deciphering the instructions and cutting our the pattern. OMG, what a challenge. Lucky I had got some extra fabric than what was recommended because I had thoughtlessly cut out half of the pattern up side down (so that the pattern on the fabric would be upside down when I sewed it).

Yesterday I had set aside the whole day to finishing it off, and it took all day! However by 4:00pm I had it all done, except for the hem.  I went into the bedroom to check the hem in the mirror and when I put the dress on discovered that the waist was too low (that the bodice was too long) and therefore nothing did up properly. This was just the kind of problem I had thought to avoid by making my own clothes.  I had to unpick all of my careful waistline stitching and put the whole waistline over the detail on the bodice that i had worked song long.  However, it all came together in the end, and here it is.

The fabric is a 'vintage' look - as part of Spotlight's vintage range,  I think it looks rather Christmassy with the pink flowers on green background, but it certainly cannot be confused for anything in a shop (at least in this decade).

What next?  I am so excited about my success that I am going back today to get another pattern.  I am so glad to prove that someone in our family can sew, if she just puts her mind to it (and 2 days).  Finally, the evil spell is broken and we can take control of our own body coverings.

The Holiday House

The Holiday House

I got to thinking of our house as the holiday house last year.  It was in Winter when all of the tasty hearty food magazines came out with stews and puddings and cosy ideas.  It made me realise that our house, though being obviously country, has never really had a theme to me.

Our other houses previously have all had a central idea that we have either adopted from the house or brought with us, but this house has never had anything except wildlife to give it a theme.  That Winter I realised that our house is pure weekend winter country house. In summer its no good except for sunsets and insect enthusiasts, but in winter, with the wood fire and country kitchen beautiful blue sky days and straw coloured winter grass, its the kind of place people would pay to go away to as their holiday house.

It makes it easier this way, on weekends after working a 60 hr week and virtually seeing nothing of home (especially in the day light), to wake up on Saturday mornings and to have 2 days at 'the holiday house' it makes me feel like we have a little part of paradise that is so hard to capture.

If we want we can stay at home the whole weekend and not go out at all, with the whole silent place to ourselves, or we can go on a 4WD on our own part of the property and not have to use any public roads. We like to cook up hearty winter country foods on these days like cassoulet or just pork belly with roasted winter vegetables like parsnips and brussel sprouts. In the afternoons we indulge in cheese and pate and our new favourite baguette from Woolworths (there are no good bakeries around us - I am not committing treason).

This is what makes things bearable, what makes it all worthwhile.  This house comes with this job.  This job is demanding, but we have the best deal out of all the staff houses.  And can enjoy a total winter escape package for no more than our weekly rent (clever huh). Guests are welcome in our holiday home and take great pleasure in gathering firewood. They like to relax on the verandah and take in QLD's winter. The sky is never so blue.

At night the fire is lit and the red wine opened. You can cosy up into bed and sleep in in the morning.  A holiday home without the petrol bill or chilly receptionists.  What an indulgence.