Your Majesty

Tonight's study, only one week prior to the dreaded exam, was based largely on reading the chapters of The Book devoted to stuff that I already know or take for granted like upselling, correct service procedures etc.

This is a major part of the second exam, but having done it for years now I am quietly confident of this bit. However, I was completly unprepared when I came to the section "Some Correct forms of Address". I was expecting a little ettiquette such as Sir, Ma'am etc, the usual thing you learn to do in your first week. I was struck a little aghast at the correct way to address THE QUEEN, or ROYAL PRINCES AND PRINCESSES.

Firtly, I'm pretty sure that if I'm ever called upon to serve the queen or recommend her a nice wine, that I would have passed a lot more tests than this one.

Second, I'm fairly confident that I will never come face to face with either the queen or anyone called prince or princess.

Third, I'm certain that if I were ever in this position, I would be struck speechless and just point. And maybe mumble a 'bwer' 'um um um um blah', and maybe pour something in her glass (hopefully something drinkable and potable, not just the water from the flower vase).

However, it has made me think about what kind of wine I'd recommend to the queen (most certinly something fruity, or sweet, given her age, what a sad generalisation - although, she stikes me as being someone who'd drink scotch - neat). And what I'd pour myself afterward to drink (much harder).

Afterall, she's lived through years and years of vintages, many of which would be crap, some amazing. Wine has been dirty and minimalist (because they were basic and didn't know any better and would lock up the chai for their summer holidays and leave their wine to just ferment and do its thing), to the revolution of the modern squeaky clean dry wines, with plenty of new oak and oozing flavour, and now the minimalise gravity approach with lots of unfiltered and non intervention but with cultured yeasts that make wine making so much easier, that dont taste like cultured yeasts (designed to be deceptively , but with a design, uncultured culture) it all must have come as bit of a shock to her over time (if she reflected at all, I'm sure it was all a bit subtle over the years).

She must have the most amazing wines tucked away in her cellar. I wonder is its all scary function wine, or if she has some real gems.

It would all be a bit weird having to do it at all (serve the queen), let alone call her something while doing it.

I will be very pleased if it turns up on next week's exam in the mutiple choice section as I have now studied it:
What is the correct way to address the queen?
a) yoohoo
b) oy
c) ma'am or your majesty
d) excuse me deary, would you like another glass?

Wise Words

Three kraters (bowls used for wine) do I mix for the temperate:
One to health, which they empty first
The second to love and pleasure
The third to sleep
When this bowl is drunk up, wise guests go home
The fourth bowl is ours no longer but belongs to hubris
The fifth to uproar
The sixth the prancing about
The seventh to black eyes
The eight brings the police
The ninth belongs to vomiting
And the tenth to insanity and hurling of furniture

Eubulus C4th BC

A little amusement I have come across in my study...

This little piggy went to market

This is a pic of some of our adorable farm animals at work in the kids nursery.

On Saturday it was such a nice day, the sun was out, it was a silly 29 degrees in July. Lately we've had these great sunny weekend days, and on Tuesdays and Wednesdays it rains. The rain cycle was like this in Victoria when I was going to uni. It would be lovely all week and then pour rain for both my days off. It was so regular that if you didn't know what day it was, you could work it out by the rain.
Its been cold and overcast here on my days off for about 8 weeks now. Because its winter is rarely rains here, which I miss, being the opposite to Victoria. At least when its cold and it rains you feel justified spending the whole day in front of the fire.
Anyway, the point is, it feels like years since we've had a good sunny day off. The Markets were on at Fernvale and all the locals say that they are the best markets around. We promptly arranged days off and invited Sue, one of our work friends.

The next morning we met at nine o'clock, very late in the market going world, and drove to the markets, about 40 minutes away. The town is just a small place on the other side of the highway, hidden past a bunch of winding country roads and long stretches of farming flats, all bright greenn with winter vegetables.

I had been warned that it was the type of market you could buy anything, and the girls at work all wanted me to buy a pig. There has been a trend amongst the 'imports' - the staff who have moved here from somewhere else. Without fail, everyone ends up a little 'countrified', or in the case of our FOM, owning 2 ducks, 2 chooks, 2 goats, 2 kitties and 2 rats within his first month of moving to the country and is always seen carrying the trading post animal section.
I was not sure what I would come home with.

At the market, the first thing we noticed was the dogs. There was a guy selling puppies at the front gate. Everyone in the market had a dog, it was like a compulsory accessory, like an environmental shopping bag. Actual there were alot more dogs there than eco friendly bags. The dogs were big and small, some miniature and just a few weeks old. I looked in one baby pram and expected to see some cute baby wrapped up there, but it was a dog, looking through the sun shade gauze. There were 3 different places selling dogs, so if you'd made a mistake and come to the market with your eco bag, you could trade it in for a dog.

The next thing we noticed was the number of ladies in kaftans, yes, kaftans. Big old orange ones with Indian designs. Now I've not got anything against a kaftan, but it was almost like Mr X had said to his wife that morning 'put on your kaftan love, we're going to the market and theres a dress code'.

Anyway, what did they actaully sell at the market? There was licorice, lots of vegies shops and a man selling strawberries faster than Maccas churns out hamburgers. There was also the customary junk shops, plant sales and a man selling old engagement rings. Sue stopped to talk to a friend, who had a toilet tank tucked under her arm. The kitchen sink store was also doing a roaring trade.

What did I buy? Some incence (naturally, it is the market and the lady who sold it to me couldn't add up so I got it ridiculously cheap), some pistachios and some strawberries, which I enjoyed later that night with some honey mead (to marinate the strawberries for an hour), served on top of crushed meringues, with some hoboken crunch ice cream.

There were no pigs for sale, which I very much regretted, and decided that we must have arrived too late and all the pigs were sold out and only dogs were left.

Handing in my licence

The other day I had to hand in my licence in order to get a QLD licence in order to get my passport. To move forward I have to hand in the past. The whole thing was really difficult, just because up here nothing has the same rhyme or reason as the other Eastern states. It was just hard to work out what exactly to do and hard to find the time to do it. When I had finally got it all changed over I was in tears.

Why, and why tell you, whoever is out there? It was seeing that girl at the dept of transport throw my licence under her computer screen, like it did not matter, that really got to me. I would never have had such a link to my VIC licence if it wasn't the last thing I had that reminds me of Marysville on a daily basis. It never meant that much when I got it. I remember having to drive for over an hour to the nearest office to get it sorted out and I thought Victorians were backwards.

The picture on it was fairly crap. It was the address, the last place we lived in Marysville before it burnt down two months later. Even though we werem't living there when it happened it was still a huge shock, and came at a time when we realised how much we hated our new jobs and situation. We hadn't even finished our mail rediversion, it actually expired on the same day as the fires went through and I had been seriously contemplating just extending it as we were being lazy. It was nice to feel connected still to our past where at least things made sense. All our friends were there and we were talking every few days like we were just on holiday and due back 'next week'.

After the fires everything felt very strange and there was nothing to connect us to anywhere anymore and our friends were all adrift as well. When we all came to QLD it was like being back in VIC again, but hotter.

The licence change saga began when Michael had to change his rego a few months agao. We had all been driving around with our VIC plates, as a reminder that we are not from this loopy place and have a past where we were all in it together. When Michael changed his plates, I looked for every way possible to avoid it, but the passport wins out.

It is a way forward, and discarding the past is the only way for me to get there.

MOOOOO

This afternoon we got home from our very long day of getting my rego and licence in order to have phot ID with my current addres on it so that I can apply for my passport so I can go to France. It also involved a safety check and a new tyre. Queensland is 10 years behind every other state in their rego and licencing, including the laminated plastic licence compared to every other state's hard card. We went to three government departments before I finally got to the right person who then had an argument with me. It was a disaster and I was very low by midday.

One of Michael's work friends had told him about a special at Bunnings for an outdoor table, as we are lacking one since our last move. He heard it was only $49 so he took me to take a look at it as some retail 'therapy'. When we got to Bunnings it was just as stated, except that there were also some great foldinh chairs that matched the table and we just decided to rest our weary legs for a moment.

Before we knew it, we'd paid for 4 chairs and a table and 2 cushions (we will have to wait until next pay to splurge on the other 2 for our imaginary friends). We got to the loading bay to pick them up and found out that they'd only charged us for 1 chair. The guy told us we had to go back to the counter and buy four as thats what was in the box. When I got back to the check out the lady asked "did you want 4 chairs?" like duh!!!

Here is one of our fabulous comfy indoor / outdoor chairs. We are currently using them indoors as the kitchen table was just begging to be sat at and yahtzee-d on.

When we got home we were unpacking the car and Michael was getting up close and personal with the cows. He decided to unpack our new table on the ground instead of trying to carry the box up the stairs. The cows spread the word around that we were home and there was lots of foot stamping and long loud mooing and before we knew it the whole herd was gathered around to watch the spectacle.

Little did we know but cows like to lick cardboard boxes. They like it alot.

This cow had so much fun licking the box that his friends came over for a munch as well. You would have thought it was a big bar of chocolate the way they were having a go at it. Maybe its that pregnant cow craving thing?

We almost felt bad when we had to take the box away but we figured it was time when they got to the sticky tape and one got it stuck to its snout.

A very good weekend

Last weekend (or was it the one before?) my parents came up for the weekend. I went into work early on the morning of their arrival to try and get some things done so that I could enjoy my weekend. When I came home it was a mere 7:30am. The cows were out getting the best early morning sun. I so rarely see our house in the morning light these days as it is usually wrapped up in fog. However when I got home I found this magnificent cow waiting for me. His colours were just so rich and patterened that he reminded me of a marble chocolate. I just had to snap him.

Mum and Dad arrived late on the Friday night and as you would know if you read mum's blog, we had pizza, homemade on the BBQ. The weather has been so balmy for winter that a few days before we'd enjoyed a wood smoked pizza at Michael's mother's on the Sunshine Coast and actually ate outside for dinner. Michael made the dough from hand and it gave us all a chance to indulge in that bad stuff that you're not supposed to eat too much of.

The next morning we were all awake early except Michael (what a total surprise), so we went for a walk. It was quite chilly and I think mum was hoping we would come across a good swamp or something to get her gumboots stuck in. All we came across was the herd of cows who were mooing like mad mothers because one was separated by her dawdling calf.

The next day we went to Spicers Peak, which is my number one favourite place to go for lunch (super duper indulgent). We kept it a secret from dad as a belated birthday present. The drive is fairly changeable, with barren flat countryside for a long distance close to Ipswich, then the country becomes more green as you pass the vege farms.
At the same time you become aware of a significant mountain range to the left hand side of the car, which turns out to be the cross country way to get to work (and our house) but comnpletely inaccessible by road unless you want to do it Sound of Music style. As you get closer to the far end of the range you start to climb and signs say lots of things about low gears, big trucks and steep grades.
Cunningham's Gap is pretty spectacular the first time you see it. Its also pretty amazing on the 9th and 10th time, which is about what it was for Michael and I. The road overlooks the whole valley that sweeps back towards Ipswich. In front, the peak looms overhead with a rough triangle on top that often disappears into the clouds. You can see it from work on a clear day.
When you get to the top of the range the vegetation almost instantly becomes alot denser and darker. The plants are rainforest like and the whole pass is enclosed by these huge old trees covered in vines and super green plants. In another instant it is gone and replaced with the gum trees from lower on the slopes and before you know it you are wondering whether it was a fabulous dream. (Once in feb we were travelling through the gap to go to Peak Lodge and a huge boulder had just fallen on the road, breaking through a guard rail and closing the road. It was the size of a small car and luckily missed all of the traffic).

At Spicers Peak we enjoyed a 3 course lunch with wine and a tour to the look out, which is the view in this picture. A long drive for lunch and a rather winding steep climb at the end up the 12km of dirt mountain road but it was well worth it.


The next day we ventured over the electric fence onto part of the property that Michael and I had never gone. Partly because we were worried about turning off the fence in case the cows got through, partly because the grass has been so long we were worried about snakes. The other day we watched a whole herd walk straight through the fence so we figured it wasn't working and decided to venture across.

Our property is known to locals as Bubbling Springs. We figured we found the actual source of the name, with a pretty section of the creek winding through the trees.

Heres mum looking for a way forward with Charlotte. The kitties like to come for

walks with us whenever we venture somewhere on the property. They are like two puppies, constantly stalking and playing with each other, and occasionally meooowing when they cant see us through the grass. They have taken to following us everywhere.


White kitty (Charlotte) is usually the worst and sits down whenever she's too scared to go on, but this time it was big kitty who got tired and needed to be picked up, having plonked herself down in the long grass. We got a pretty nice view of the property from a different angle and decided it would be a good shady place to build a house.



Later that same afternoon, emboldened by the trek over the fence (which gave us no new discoveries except what the past tennants did with their garbage), we took mum and dad to the hidden dam. We found the source of the cow vs electric fence issue. The cows had ripped the fence right off the posts near the dam and it was not working. They'd created a path through the long grass that had not been accessible last time I was up that way. This time we had the urge to follow the path 'just round the next bend' until we found ourselves in an even more hidden valley, cool and shady and quiet. I dont know whether we'd go there in summer, given the snakes (a guest saw another one today - its winter for gosh sakes), but it looked like a nice place for a picnic. Mum and Dad enjoyed the rest of their stay and we indulged yet again in something scrumptious for dinner with a pork and chorizo cassoulet.

I just realised that I forgot to talk about the Laidley street parade. for the Laidley show that we were lucky enough to see. Wait for it, wait for it, oops, you missed it.

More visitors

This week I had several visitors. I had Nana, who saw our house for the first time, though she seems more familiar with my local area than Michael and I. I also had G.

Its been bit of a big few weeks really. Nana came to visit and has been staying with friends in Ipswich. I met her friends on her second day and they came for dinner at the hotel. I took Nan home that afternoon and we spent the afternoon watching the cows. She was overwhelmed to be in such a peaceful place, and I dont think she's ever come so close to a cow in her life.

We surmised whether the 'tank on legs' was pregnant or just fat. It seems a long time since all the other cows had calves.

When I brought it up with Peter, the Farmer the other day, I said "Our cows are terribly noisy at the moment." "Really?" (in typical Peter monotone). " Yes," I said, "I think there are a few pregnant ones"
"I should hope so, " he said "I hope there are about 400 pregnant ones."
"Oh," I said, (ignoring the fact that the 'tank on legs' is really obviously really pregnant). "How long are they pregnant for?"
"10 months" he said.

Hmm, if this is true then these poor 'housemates' of ours have one on the boob and another on the way. Poor single mothers. Our whole paddock must be a big single cow mothers support group.


The second visitor I had was G. We had had, as I said, a pretty hard week.

I decided it was time for a wine night at home. Our house is bit of an adventure for our friends. At first, we established the precedent by having the padlock on the gate, which meant that every visitor had to be let in and then locked out again. After the rains in Feb March and our padlocks (both of them - we are double locked due to the energy company who needs to read our meter) the padlocks both rusted. After that we no longer bothered, but friends still did not come. We stopped having events after G rolled the work 4WD car on our road after a BBQ dinner at our house in November.

Any way, G decided to come out and I had prepared dinner for us both. She was going to drive her car out, which was a major event as the $60000 car 'does not go off road'.

I was standing in the kitchen making spag bol while I wondered how she would get up the driveway in the dark as she had mentioned she would park at the gate and walk in. I kept thinking of the huge herd of cows that had been sitting in front of the house when I got home (like little dark islands with shiny eyes) and the poop that they has been created in the 3-4 weeks since we've had them back. I thought about G's nice shoes and the darkness and the poop. I did the right thing and picked her up from the gate in the car.

Its something I've never had to consider before - usually I just wash up or vaccum the couch or make sure there are no undies on the bathroom floor. I've never had to do 'gate transfers' before - as if we live on a grande estate with large luxurious gates.

Dinner went well by the way. I have not cooked for anyone else in such a long time that I had stage fright about spaghetti. It was topped off by a great bottle of Coriole Shiraz that our group GM insisted we try again because he did not like it very much and thought it mifght have something wrong with it. Ahh, the things we do for work.